Some Holiday Advice

Ahhh...the holidays!  I love this time of year.  That being said, I'm not thrilled about all the rude, impatient, stressed out people we will encounter during the madness and pressure of creating the "perfect" holiday.  It all begins on Black Friday.  People literally stampeding each other to save 20 dollars on a video game.  Parents cutting in line with their children to visit Santa.  The parking space stealers.  The list goes on and on.
I now hold my tongue when it comes to confronting all the hanging-by-a-thread lunatics lurking about.  I learned my lesson nine years ago - the day before I gave birth to my daughter Georgia.  It started out simply.  I went to see an 11am matinee of "The Incredibles" at the Sherman Oaks Galleria with my husband Matt, our three year old son Rowan, our friend George and his 10 year old boy.  We loved the movie.  The credits started rolling, the lights went up in the theatre and everyone started to exit.  Matt, being the ever-thoughtful guy, was hunched over, scooping up all the popcorn and candy that had missed our son's mouth and landed on the sticky floor.  George, his son and I stood up and started recounting our favorite parts of the movie as we were waiting for Matt to finish - when I heard from the stadium seats two rows above us, "Move or sit the f*ck down!" I maneuvered my very large, ready-to-burst belly around to see three 20-something guys - one that looked like Biff from "Back to the Future" - sprawled out with their feet on the seats in front of them.  I was disgusted.  "Really?  Are you kidding me?  You're going to talk that way to a pregnant woman with small children?" To which he sneered, "Yes I am. Sit the f*ck down."  Now I was enraged.  "You're a piece of garbage!  And why don't you take your dirty feet off the seats!"  Then he hurled another "f*ck you" my way.  During this brief exchange Matt was still obliviously cleaning up and looking for one of Rowan's toys.  My friend George heard it all though and his Lebanese temper quickly boiled over.   He started shaking all of our nearly empty soda cups to see which one was fullest.  When he found the one, he tossed the contents up at the guy and yelled, "You need to cool down buddy!"  Almost instantly the Biff-looking character jumped down two rows and landed on top of George, fists flying.  I screamed "Help!" like a woman in a 1970's disaster movie and pulled the kids out of the fray.  Matt finally saw what was going on, jumped on the guy who was punching George and put him in a choke hold.  The guy started to go limp and Matt shouted "It's over! It's OVER!!"  It looked like a WWE match only it was real.  I peered up, still screeching, praying the other two guys wouldn't join in.  Luckily they didn't.
Finally two dorky movie security guards arrived after everything had started to calm down and we were all escorted from the theatre, despite my protestations of innocence.  After saying goodbye to George and his son, we silently waited for the valet to bring our minivan up.  When we got  in the car, Matt said, "You know, you caused this.  You need to learn to keep your mouth shut with a$%holes like that.  You don't know what someone's gonna do." As much as I wanted to disagree - I knew he was right.  You can't get in arguments with strangers.  You never know what kind of crazy you're dealing with.  So this holiday season (or anytime really) when a stranger says something rude, cuts you off in traffic or takes the last doorbuster sale item from your hands and you want to respond remember "The Incredibles" take a breath and move on.